Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
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Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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