so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
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Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't deserve a penis
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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