Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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I have feelings that need drinking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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