I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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