Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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