I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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