So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I smell stomach acid.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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