dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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