I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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