So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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