You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize