I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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