where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize