Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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