Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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