I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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