She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize