You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
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There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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