If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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