but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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