Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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