I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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