Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
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You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Two words: nipple clamps
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