I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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