Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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