Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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