My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize