Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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