I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize