I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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