i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize