My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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