he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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