Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize