Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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