You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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