So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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