Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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