Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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