I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize