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Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My pussy is not your playground.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She told me I should be a condom model.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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