It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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