you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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