apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize