when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize