i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize