We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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