perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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