I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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