is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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